In the 2005 documentary the aristocrats, bob saget stole the show with a wildly inappropriate take on a classic joke. Cassim: You don't stand a chance against the King of Thieves. [Screaming][Coughing]. Billy Boss: Ha-ha! Ow! Pretty soon, all of them are completely naked including the dog, who takes his leash off.. Now, now, Berlioz. It was a little oldcricket bug. The shift in editing over to pages for the movies, characters, actors, directors, composers, crew and galleries is now fully in effect. Roquefort:B-But honest, guys! Duchess: Another flight intothe fantasy, Monsieur O'Malley? Duchess: Oh! Lafayette: [offscreen;chuckling]This time, I get the tender part. Lafayette:Well, c'est la guerre,Napoleon. O'Malley: How 'bout youand me, Duchess? Now don't panic. Gottfried claimed he was unable to get a direct flight, because "they had to make a stop at the Empire State Building." [We cut to the thieves pointing their swords around Aladdin, Abu and Iago to the beat of the music] Taking whatever we please! O'Malley: Well, humans don't really worrytoo much about their pets. Lafayette: Napoleon, I'm plumbgoose-pimply scared! Madame Adelaide Bonfamille: [offsceen] Well, as you know, my friend,I have no living relatives,and naturally, I wantmy beloved catsto be alwayswell whatever cared for. Roquefort: Well, yes. Abigail: We are to meet himat Le Petit Cafe. You know, your country chateau? [offscreen]His eyes are too close together. Revisit bob sagets take on the aristrocrats, one of the filthiest jokes. [The camera zooms into the theater screen as the screen fades to black]. Uncle Waldo: [Laughter]Now, now, now, now. Lafayette: Mmm. Gives birth to a three-pound Shetland pony! Darlings,now you just stay here,and I'll go and I'lllook for Toulouse. Duchess: Oh, Thomas! Oh, that must be him! When they're seen upon an airing. Let's hurry. Duchess: Le Petit Cafe? [offscreen] Lafayette,what in tarnation you trying to do!? WebUntil gottfried, the aristocrats was mostly an inside joke among comedians. It's like Curly in the Stooges. You know, this isthe low-rent district, remember? The Aristocats! But I'm a mouse! Berlioz:[offscreen]Aw, shut up, Toulouse. Ooh! A proper joke seldom fits the format and atmosphere of stand-up comedy, and jokes end as soon as the audience knows the punchline. Duchess: Oh, thank goodness. I've heard the "joke." Alright? Toulouse: I was havinga funny dream. What do you call the act?" Which pets are blessed withthe fairest forms and faces? Come on. The 200 Greatest Singers of All Time Napoleon: 'Cause I outrank you,that's why. Good evening, Duchess. What made them think this was entertaining! I'm frightfully sorry, sir! Doug Stanhope: With this bleeding anus splattering on the crowd. Amelia: No! Boy: We drive and drive and drive some more. Hugh hefner, gilbert gottfried and the filthiest joke ever toldfrom 2005 the documentary 'the aristocrats' directed by paul provenza, penn jillette. [offscreen]Gethim, get him, get him, get him! Scat Cat:Come on, cats! And that was my vacation. Breakfast, a la carte. I'll think of a way. Aufwiedersehen. I only wish that l--. Duchess: [Laughs]"Old picklepuss who"? Madame Adelaide Bonfamille:Oh, it's no use, Edgar. Abigail: Mr. O'Malley, I think youshould be the rear end. WebComedians don't tell jokes. [offscreen]Any womanwould like it. It's time to get rid of these cats all the way to Timbuktu once and for all. Marie: I'll show youif I'm a lady or not. Smile. The Aristocrats is a fascinating essay on the nature of stand-up. As the butler pushes the trunk toward the door, O'Malley pushes from the other side. [ Singing ]Ta-ra-ra-boom-de-ayTa-ra-ra-boom-de-ay[Humming]. Now, now, my darlings. Mark Elliott: The woman who would open his eyes to adventures he never imagined. Madame Adelaide Bonfamille:Thank you. O'Malley: No trouble at all,little princess. Duchess: Now, Marie, let's leaveToulouse to his painting. Blow [offscreen] some of that sweet stuff my way. Duchess: Oh, mademoiselles, thank you so muchfor helping Mr. O'Malley. You don't need to scream. Fine. Lil' Rush [ Singing ]Ta-ra-ra-boom-de-ayTa-ra-ra-boom-de-ay. I'd like to send it to the kids from the show "Full House". The horse hits Edgar with her back legs and he flies into the trunk. IT'S JUST, "HERE WE GO, FOLKS." Funny Knock Knock Jokes To Tell Your Friends. The My umbrella! Roquefort: Mm. This article is about the offensive joke known as "The Aristocrats". Marie: Ooh, that would be wonderful, sir! Oh, no! [winks]Right off the cuff, yeah. Even if the punchline was the 1%, the joke would. Marie: [singing] Doe me sodoe doe so me doeEvery truly culturedmusic student knowsYou must learn your scalesand your arpeggios[Catching A Breath]Bring the music ringingFrom your chestand not your noseWhile you sing your scalesand your arpeggios, Berlioz: [singing] If you're faithful toYour daily practicingYou will find your progressis encouragingDoe me so me doe me so mefa la so it goesWhen you do your scalesand your arpeggios, Duchess andMarie: [Singing]Doe me so doe, doe so me doeDoe me so doedoe so me doeThough at fiirst it seemsas though it doesn't showLike a tree, abilitywill root and grow, Toulouse: Duchess andMarie: lf you're smartyou'll learn by heartWhat every artist knows, Duchess andMarie:You must sing your scales, Edgar Balthazar: Ah, good evening,my little ones. The Aristocats! Right? - What? And don't worry. Abigail: Oh, how horribly nice! Duchess: Now, Marie, darling,don't be frightened. His name is O'Toole. I've only got one. Napoleon: Wait a minute, that's funny. Why, you won't believewhat they tried to doto your poor old Uncle Waldo! WebThe Aristocrats" is a taboo-defying off-color joke that has been told by numerous stand-up comedians and dates back to the vaudeville era. "Aladdin 2: The Return of Jafar" took you beyond imagination. Oh, gracious! We must both lookour best for Georges when he gets here. But I was so surethat I heard them. Oh. And certainly no one can do this betterthan my faithful servant, Edgar. And the talent agent says, What do you call yourselves? And the father sticks his chest out and goes, The Aristocrats. Mark Elliott: Walt Disney Home Video invites you back into the world where toys come to life. BAM THEM WITH AS POLITE A Robin Williams: It's a kindler, gentler genie! Mark Elliott: It's Disney's award-winning, completely computer-animated smash hit. You guys wanna hear a funny joke my Grandpa told me? And bring back f***ing major world leaders of the past 60 years, like Hitler. Someone call the cops and Ill sneak out. Marie: But, mama, do wehave sparklingsapphire eyes that dazzle too? Roquefort: Oh, it's a sad dayfor all of us. Right off your cuff. Mark Elliott: Including the Genie, brought to life again by the one-and-only Robin Williams. For a walking tourof France. Roquefort: Not a sign of them, Frou-Frou,and I've searched all night. Whew! Roquefort:Hey, wait for me! Go! The film was created by Penn Jillette with Paul Provenza and was released in 2005. Edgar Balthazar: Cats inherit first! I've just gotto find them. Mark Elliott: This summer, share the feeling. Duchess:Because of our owner. Hiya, chicks. Madame Adelaide Bonfamille: [offscreen]Edgar! The kid starts spinning around in a circle cause he can't control it. Ow! WebWith nothing left to lose, he launched into the Aristocrats joke, shifting gears with a decisive, OK, a talent agent is sitting in his office. He goes on for nine minutes and 50 Hole in the left sole,it sounds like. [O'Malley pounces. Two-cylinder, chain drive. And the whole family starts running around screaming and laughing with their dicks and tittles all flapping around, covered with piss and shit and cum, goin', Learn More About The New Episode - Japanese Toilets. You justdon't understand. Scat Cat: [ Chuckling ] Say! Toulouse hisses and spits], Toulouse: [Snarling,Hissing]Meow! Take that! There's always something new and emotional from Disney. And the agent's like, "What do you do?" Mm, ooh, oh, heh. She will be so worriedwhen she finds us gone. Toulouse, where are you? O'Malley: Show you the way? Frou-Frou grabs Edgar by the jacket. Napoleon: Wha-Wha--What's goin' on? Why, you'll, you'll wake upthe whole neighborhood! It's about that big Bob Saget: I believe that's Shandling's joke. Everythingyou possess? Duchess: Oh! And I think this young manis very handsome. South Park - The Aristocrats Joke. Clopin and Chorus: [singing] BellsofNotreDame! Ow! (2x) Oh, Marie, are you all right? He's got a very huge wiener. Sleep well. I'mRoquefort by the way, I need your help,Duchess! Very good. Napoleon:I got a feelin' this caseis gonna bust wide open. Back off, girls. WebTHE JOKE LEADS ME DOWN ONE PATH, AND THEN IT SWITCHES THE PATH ON ME SUDDENLY, AND IT HITS ME WITH A HAMMER. WebThe Aristocrats, a documentary by magician/comic Penn Gillette and comedian Paul Provenza, follows the genesis of "the filthiest joke ever told." [After the Walt Disney Pictures logo, we fade to a black background]. "Saranora," and allthose goodbye things, baby. They start going down on each other all different kinds of combinations, there's 69, there's 29, cause the kids are young, there's 9. Although the talent agent initially brushes them off as too 'cutesy', he is eventually persuaded to allow them to show him their act. [Woody claps for Buzz] And for Sega Genesis and Super NES, "Toy Story: The Video Game". You see, my mistress, shewill beso worried about us. Toulouse: Gee whiz! More details are available in the progress report. Kittens! Duchess:Very good, darling. Ooh, it's them shoes again. Mark Elliott: Discovering the magic [Esmeralda disappears in a cloud of smoke after blowing her nose] .within himself. Duchess: Oh, no, no, no. Here, kitty, kitty, kitty,kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty! WebWatch more:Gilbert Gottfried solves a murder mystery at Disney World: https://youtu.be/URuNJvtlGT0Gilbert Gottfrieds Dead Pet Turtle: I just want to say now if any of you people who are watching this: if you're having sex with your family I don't condone it. My own penthouse pad. Georges Hautecourt: Will, eh? Roquefort:Oh, now, wait a minute,fellas. Duchess: Oh, I'm so sorry, but,well, we just couldn't. And Ann suggests that they all go into the drawing room, where Ann then braids Betsy's beautiful blonde hair. WebThis 19th-century aristocrat was a spoiled rich boy who never grew up and a man who would often take delight in other peoples misfortune. O'Malley: Duchess, this isthe greatest cat of'em all: Scat Cat. Mm. I'm still tryin'to get to SHORE! Afraid,I guessyou know best,and I'm gonnamiss you, baby. Madame Adelaide Bonfamille: [offscreen]Careful, Toulouse! Yes! Naturellement! Just hearing out loud descriptions of giddy sh*t-covered incest. Napoleon: I'm the leader. Thieves: [singing] Welcome to the Forty Thieves! Marie: Oh noI wouldn'ttake up much room. Would you agree with that? The joke was the subject of a 2005 documentary film of the same name. It doesn't matter if they're boys or girls they're gonna be used anyway Bob Saget: - as nothing more than a hole. Uh, Iwassent here for help by a cat. Duchess: Well, darlings, l--I just don't know. Berlioz: Mama, do we have towaddle like they do? Police have not yet found the missing baby of runaway aristocrat Constance Marten and her rapist lover Mark Gordon - and have applied for 36 hours more to quiz them.. [More silent clips are shown] Come join Christopher Robin and his best friend Pooh on an adventure through the Hundred Acre Wood. O'Malley: Well, of course. Edgar Balthazar:Uh, allow me, Madame. Choo-choo-choo-choo,choo-choo-choo-choo. You've got it! sporkythespaz. Jon Stewart: Um Yeah, I think it's best if we don't break it down. Abigail: He takes to waterlike a fish, doesn't he? Mario Cantone: In my show, I'm gonna sit on top of the piano and fit the whole thing in my vagina. The stormwill soon pass. Edgar Balthazar: Of course, Madame. O'Malley: So I got a few to spare. John Leader: He created a motion picture based on a story that held a special place in his heart. Duchess:[ Laughing ]They could hardly keep their eyes open. Why, I'll, I'll eatmy hat if they-- My hat! Please? They got rubber feet. Get out! In 2005, bob saget, who died sunday, was still americas dad the sweet. Duchess: Now, now, Toulouse. Berlioz: Just a nickname I gave you, "Roque-fort"? That was very nice of you. Marie: Mama,l guess I had a nightmareand fell out of bed. Berlioz:We were just practicingbiting and clawing. Dig thesefancy wigwams. And what they do is they get on a pile of dead dungs and they f*** each other and then they have a big closing where they fist-f*** an autistic preteen. Mark Elliott: Outside was a world he had only dreamed about. Then the father and son take the baby and start stuffing it head-first back into the mother's vagina, while the daughter's piss rains down on all of them. O'Malley:Wellguess they won'tneed me any more. Duchess:[offscreen]Berlioz, shh! Doug stanhope's variation of the aristocrats joke. Let's getout of here. Quotes.net. George carlin shares his version of the aristocrats joke. The father grabs the baby, takes off his diaper and starts sucking his cock, right? Scat Cat: Why, this is outrageous &crazy! O'Malley: Are you sure we'reon the right street where you live? She plays Chopin's third movement, in B minor. You've just rescued Thomas, right? O'Malley needs help! And since it is a kids joke, i highly doubt it is a nonsensical joke (e.g. They get the baby halfway in so that just his legs are sticking out all kicking and flailing around, and the son takes the mother's shit out of his mouth and starts rubbing it all over everyone while the father sticks his cock in the baby's asshole and fucks it while it's still inside the mother, until he cums all over the baby, the wife, the son and the daughter. Edgar Balthazar: Oh, uh-- May Igive you a hand, sir? Girl: And then the raccoons ate our food and they all had poison ivy. You remember him,of course. I don't understand why he would say that. Duchess: Oh, Thomas, that was really brave of you. Kittens! Mark Elliott: With it's all-new 37th animated motion picture! It's warmand, mm-mm, cozy. It really is muchtoo heavy for you, Madame. It relates the story of a family trying to get an agent to book their stage act, which is revealed to be remarkably vulgar and offensive in nature, with the punch line revealing that they incongruously. Frogs: [singing] There's so much to say, but we have all day. . South Park Archives is a FANDOM TV Community. He's just helping us to get to--. Oh, no. Duchess: (offscreen; chuckling)Yes. Swimming, some of the way. You know Edgaris so fond of all of usand takesvery good care of us. Marie: Goody. Nice goin; Toulouse. Duchess: [Laughing]Bravo! It's just beyondthat next chimney pot. Oh, my gracious! But first, introductions. O'Malley: Oh! [Engine Starting,Backfiiring][Engine Sputtering,Backfiring][Backfiring Continues] [Gasping] The police station! [Screen fades from black, revealing a clip of the 1995 Disney Interactive trailer where two children are at a computer playing the "Pocahontas" Animated Storybook game. [The movie logo appears one last time] "The Many Adventures of Winnie the Pooh". Toulouse: Gee, Marie, why'd youhave to fall off the bridge? Come on. Get out! [Clips of "The Many Adventures of Winnie the Pooh" are shown]. Then he rips off her underwear and he takes some of her pubes with it. Duchess! Thank goodness you're safe! Ooh! The details of the joke change with every telling (and Amelia: Sir. What's all the yellin'about, huh? You take this position. Duchess: Especially whenhe's marinated! Oh, l, I mean,even little Marie. Mark Elliott: But a band of notorious thieves. "And basted in[ Sniffles ]white wine." But I don't remember what was so "bad." O'Malley: [Chuckles]Now that's quite a family. Struck by lightning. [offscreen]Toulouse? It's a motorcycle. I was asleep a winkall day. 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Roquefort: [Sputtering,Spitting]Why that [Spits]sneaky, crooked [Spits],no good [Spits] butler! "The "Aristocrats. Abigail: You really did quite wellfor a beginner. Bob Saget: There's my friend Paul and right now I'm looking at his dinger. So they're all f***ing each other right. Uncle Waldo: [Screaming]Abigail! I've got to do something quick! You know, they make the morningradiant and light. Georges Hautecourt: You haven't got an extra foot,have you, Edgar? [ Laughing ], Napoleon: You're not gonna believe this, man,but it's. We just have togo home tomorrow. Roquefort: Must keep still. Kyle keeps interrupting him as the story gets more filthy, but Cartman simply disregards him and continues. Marie: Thank you, Mr. O'Malley,for saving my life. Berlioz: Andyou said we're gonnaride on your magic carpet. And the talent agent says, "Sorry, we don't sign family acts. Will you hold on, please. One squeakywheelon the front, it sounds like. Edgar Balthazar:You came back? [Laughing]I've some news straightfrom the horse's mouth,if you'll pardonthe expression, of course. Kittens! An amazing three-dimensional adventure. Whoa! [Screen flashes on the last note of the music, but the white screen fades to the title in front of a black background]. I'm outta here! Startmentioning name, rodent. And he says, "The Osbournes.". But it is notquite Shakespeare. We're geese. I know, i know, i still need to get the cast names in there and i'll be eternally tweaking it, so if you have any. Hallelujah! Brian Cummings: Coming this summer, join Kermit and his new friend Billy Bunny in their very first Muppet sing-along video: "Billy Bunny's Animal Songs". Lafayette: Oh, I get blamedfor everything. We're on our way to Paris. He's our oldest anddearest friend, you know. [offscreen]Duchess and the kittensare in trouble! Georges Hautecourt: Am I going too fast for you, Edgar? The cast (in order of appearance) opening song vocals maurice chevalier madame adelaide bonfamille. O'Malley: Well, uh, you seeI-l'm not exactlyher husband. Toulouse: Frogs? Clopin: Up there, high, high in the dark bell tower lives the mysterious bell ringer. [Dives off the bedpost and bounces off the ball with his helmet]. Have some. Duches: [offscreen]Berlioz, now don't be rude. Duchess: Oh, I'm delightedto meet you, Monsieur Scat Cat. Please,you must stop that. 1 of 3 The Artistocrats Show More Show Less 2 of 3 Co-creator Penn Jillette arrives at the premiere of the film "The Aristocrats", Tuesday, July 26, 2005, in New York. There's incest. All: Everybody, everybody Everybody wantsto be a cat (2x), Frou Frou:Everybody (2x) Everybody wants to be a cat[ Giggling ], Uncle Waldo: EverybodyWhoopee! Abigail: So first, you must gainself-confidenceby striking outon your own. It relates the story of a family trying to Madame Adelaide Bonfamille: There now, Duchess. ", T. Sean Shannon: "Well, you can't say that.". Frollo: [Turns Quasimodo to him] You don't know what it's like out there. Duchess: Oh, no more, please. Edgar Balthazar: Could we take the elevatorthis time, sir? Remember when I took you to Sea World? When they're seenupon an airing. Roquefort:Oh, boy! Madame isexpecting you, sir. [Growling]. O'Malley: What I had in mind wasa kind of a sports model, baby. Madame Adelaide Bonfamille: [Laughing] Oh, Berlioz. Madame Adelaide Bonfamille: [Laughs]Oh, Georges! Only for those aged 17 and older. Don't be frightened. Marie: Come on, guys, lets all start meowing. That's how Otto Peterson: My son comes out, I shoot him in the head, and then I F*** the bullet hole! I've made the headlines." (offscreen)Four. What is the Jawi script exactly and why did they stop using it in from www.quora.com. O'Malley runs and Edgar chases him. Toulouse,Marie, where are you? You knowthe kids are bushed. Frou-Frou pulls on a rope and the hook lifts Edgar up into the air. Edgar Balthazar: Alright: The coast is clear. Step on the gas, Napoleon! Oh! Carrie Fisher: My mother was a golden shower queen. Mark Elliott: "Toy Story", the newest Disney sensation on video. July 28, 20058:25 PM. Meee-owww! [Grunting]. Berlioz:Hooray, we're home! After it! Sorry, it was half O'Malley: All right, step lively! WebTHE JOKE LEADS ME DOWN ONE PATH, AND THEN IT SWITCHES THE PATH ON ME SUDDENLY, AND IT HITS ME WITH A HAMMER. Woody: This is the perfect time to panic! Marie:[offscreen]Abraham de Lacy Giuseppe Casey! This is reallynot lady like. The 100 Best Albums of 2022, But thats a whole other story, he deadpanned. [Genie Jafar throws a fireball at the screen, and the screen fades from white, revealing the "Aladdin 3: The King of Thieves" logo] "Aladdin 3: The King of Thieves". There's no legal system at all in play in a joke. Its an opportunity for the grossest part of a comics brain to go wild. "The Aristocrats Quotes." Georges Hautecourt: Ah, still the softest handsin all of Paris, eh? We shall fly to Parison a magic carpet,side by side. While the son, still with his mother's shit in his mouth, goes over and licks the baby's tiny little balls. Lewis Black: That's, that's actually, a really great idea to pitch to a network. Duchess: Why, Mr. O'Malley,you are amazing! Splendid, madame! Duchess:Berlioz, come back here. That's onlya little frog, my love. Possibly a reprobate. Scat Cat: Likewise, Duchess. Amelia: Uncle Waldo. Abigail: Silly you! I heard them! The acts described involve incest, pedophilia, sodomy, coprophilia, coprophagia, and impressions of the victims of 9/11. These are my children. He could have arms like Popeye. Amelia: Abigail, we were bornwith flat feet. [ Chuckling ]. Uh-oh. And I come after the cats. Will you hold on, please! I love 'em. I, me, after-- No. A family walks in to a talent. Because you're probably saying, if you have any sense of human decency, "Well, why didn't he stop them the minute he saw the father unzipping his pants!" Why, there are a millionreasons why I should! What's all the whis--whispering about, huh? He says, "Wow, that sounds good, what do you call this act?" You ready? O'Malley: Oh, thank you. The fun begins now on video! [Hugo keeps spitting as Victor now comes to life]. Duchess: Good evening,Monsieur Roquefort. Amelia: Now listen to this, I am Amelia Gabble,and this is my sister--. Ready, everyone? [chuckling] Just like you say, Thomas. The joke, called "The Aristocrats" after its punchline, was setup as a pitch meeting to a talent agent. "The Hunchback of Notre Dame". Frou-Frou: Hurry, Roquefort. We need a man around the house. This joke was met with boos and jeers of "too soon." Suchan exciting day. Beau Weaver: Here are special previews of the next Disney animated masterpieces coming to theaters. Beautiful. Where are you? I'll get flat feet. Uncle Waldo: Whoopee! The Aristocrats- Not Telling The Joke. Stop! Napoleon: They're black--How would I know that? Just we two. O'Malley: No, no. Brainless lunatic! Its an opportunity for the grossest part of a comics brain to go wild. O'Malley:[offscreen]Look, I'mgonna need help right away. Amelia: "Exactly"? Cats:Everybody, everybodyEverybody wantsto be a cat, Berlioz: [ Sighing ]Everybody wantsto be a cat, Marie: Because a cat'sthe only catWho knowswhere it's at. Edgar Balthazar: The police say it wasa professional, masterful job. Ooh. O'Malley: [Gasping]Alrighty, whatever. Duchess: Marie! [ Laughing ]That always makes melaugh, sir. Mark Elliott: Now, the fun and emotion of "Toy Story" come to your home computer. Well. It's a totally different show. Thieves: [singing] Scheming up a scam, out on a limb. Edgar Balthazar: Your favorite dishprepared a very special way. I'll bet you're a real tigerin your neighborhood. The aristocrats is a notoriously filthy joke using scatological humor. They showaristocatic bearing. Napoleon: It's squeaky shoesapproachin', man. Portions of this script are copyrighted by walt disney company and are used without permission. All: [offscreen]Everybody(2x)Everybodywants to be-A Lafayette:Hey, Napoleon,that sounds like the end. [After the Walt Disney Pictures logo, silent clips of "Aladdin" and "Aladdin 2" are shown]. Darling, why, that--Why, that's ridiculous. [baby begins to cry] Yeah I didn't like it that much myself. A family walks in to a talent agency. Brian Cummings: "Billy Bunny's Animal Songs". "The Aristocrats" (also called "The Debonaires" or "The Sophisticates" in some tellings) is a taboo-defying off-color joke that has been told by numerous stand-up comedians since the vaudeville era. 4:04. Hop aboard the motorcycle. The real joke is, it's not a Multiplied by nine times. The family jumps. Ooh. Did you haveany luck at all? [6] It came to wider public attention when it was told by Gilbert Gottfried during the Friars' Club roast of Hugh Hefner. Lafayette:This sure beats runnin', Napoleon. Why, oh why, is he allowing this to happen?, Editors picks The work of a genius. WebAristocrats Joke [OFFENSIVE] Brandon Rogers Brandon Rogers 6.23M subscribers 139K 4.1M views 7 years ago My take on the age-old Aristocrats joke. Title of infamous joke without a punchline. Madame Adelaide Bonfamille: [voice]No, no, no, Georges. [Everyone in the Hundred Acre Wood cheers for Pooh while they sit around a table] Carefully restored to it's original brilliance. Roquefort: Duchess, kittens, gone? [ Yawns ] Come on, guys, let's go back to bed. [Chuckling, Sniffing] So, what is that appetizing smell? Duchess: Well, it is most importantthat we get back to Paris where we lived. [Woody and Buzz sword fight with car wash brushes, then at the next mouse click, Woody climbs up a gas tank and tries to body hit Buzz, but Buzz misses him] There are mind-challenging activities. Don't fuss over me. [The screen flashes again, but this time with the white screen fading to a black background with text saying "Coming to Theaters Summer 1996"]. Don't shush yourold Uncle Waldo! Duchess: (offscreen)Oh, yes, Monsieur O'Malley. Funny Knock Knock Jokes To Tell Your Friends. You're comin' on. Aristocrats no longer exist, or at least theyre not called aristocrats. and to most people, weird sex orgies arent associated with the ruling class. A few seconds later, Hugo comes to life, spitting a bird's nest out of its mouth]. And aristocatic flair in what they do and what they say. Laverne: Nobody wants to stay cooped up here forever. I'm afraid it was justthe imagination of an old lady. I'm doin' fine! [Offscreen]Good riddance. Until gottfried, the aristocrats was mostly an inside joke among comedians. This-- Well, this mansion? Ow! Duchess: Oh, ho, ho,you are charming! Victor: Well, that's what you get for sleeping with your mouth open. Duchess: Now, now, my darling. Mark Elliott: Coming this summer from Walt Disney Pictures. The Aristocrats is a notoriously filthy joke using scatological humor. Which pets possessthe longest pedigree? The mother starts taking her blouse off. The talent agent goes, Hmm, thats an interesting act,' Gottfried says. So theyre covered with piss and shit and blood and come and sweat, ooh, that sweat. Edgar stabs a mound of hay with a pitchfork. Georges Hautecourt: [ Laughing ]Come on, Edgar. Lafayette: I'm scratchin'as fast as I can. O'Malley: Right underthat magic carpet. (outloud)Of course you can. Toulouse: Don't worry, mama, we will. And the talent agent goes, So what kind of act do you do? The father starts taking his shirt and jacket off. Which pets are proneto hardly any flaws? [Screen fades from black, showing some of the locations from the film]. Madame Adelaide Bonfamille:Yes, yes, of course,but you know what to do. Berlioz:[offscreen]He's sure glad to see us. [Humming"Rock-A-Bye-Baby"]Oops! But he had a bed in it, like a couch that he called "Uncle Joe's Bed for Little People", because a couch is like a bed for little people, y'know Joe Franklin raped me. Abigail: You know, deary, your husband is very charmingand very handsome. The Aristocrats Joke!!! O'Malley: Of course not. Frollo: [To Phoebus, unimpressed] Look at that disgusting display. And so, you see,we can't leave her alone. Roquefort:H-How about--O' Grady? Very good. [Screaming]Nice doggy! O'Malley: Aloha. Tinkerbell flies in and changes the scenes to the Disney Interactive logo as she flies off]. Please,let me explain. Two cats throw a harness from the hay loft, encircling him. Ooh! And I'm not a man either. Mark Elliott: "Aladdin 3" features five brand-new songs and reunites all your favorite characters from "Aladdin". [A cat drops a bale of hay onto Edgar. In 2005, bob saget, who died sunday, was still americas dad the sweet, caring father on full house and the lovably dorky host of americas funniest home. 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